Plenty of grown-ups feel shaky about maths. Here is how to help your child feel braver about it, whatever your own school days were like.
Talk about maths as something people get better at with practice, not a talent you have or don’t. Skip “I was bad at maths too” and try “This is tricky. Let’s work it out.” When your child says “I’m dumb”, praise the strategy they used, add “not yet”, and treat mistakes as information.
Updated 6 October 2026 · 6 minute read
Lots of adults feel anxious about maths, often because of how it felt at school. It matters because children notice how we talk about it. A study from Loughborough University and Italian universities, following nearly 130 children from age three to eight, found that parents’ maths anxiety was linked to children’s early numeracy, even when parents’ education was taken into account. The lead researcher’s advice: talk about maths more positively, and remember you don’t need a special talent to learn it (Loughborough University, 2025).
You don’t have to love maths, or know every method, to help. What helps most is how you talk about it.
It’s a kind thing to say, and it’s meant to comfort. But it can tell a child that maths is something you’re either born good at or not. Try these instead:
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| “I was never good at maths either.” | “Maths takes practice. I’m still learning too. Let’s work it out together.” |
| “I’m not a maths person.” | “I find this bit tricky. Let’s see what we can figure out.” |
| “I don’t know how they teach it now.” | “Show me how your class does it. You can be the teacher.” |
| “Some people just aren’t maths people.” | “Everyone’s brain gets better at maths with practice.” |
| “This is easy.” | “This one takes some thinking.” (If it feels easy to you and hard to them, calling it easy makes it harder.) |
It’s fine not to know. “I’m not sure. How could we find out?” is one of the best things a child can hear a grown-up say.
It is hard to hear. The urge is to say “No you’re not!”, but children often don’t believe that in the moment. Try this instead:
| When… | You could say |
|---|---|
| They make a mistake | “Great, now we know which bit to look at. Talk me through what you did.” |
| They want to give up | “Let’s just do the first step. Then you can choose whether to keep going.” |
| They get it right | “How did you work that out?” (Then praise the method: “Checking it a second way was clever.”) |
| They compare themselves with a friend | “Everyone learns at their own pace. What can you do now that you couldn’t do last term?” |
| You don’t know the answer | “I’m not sure. Let’s read the question again and try a smaller example.” |
Confidence grows when children do the thinking themselves and find that it works. So let them have a go before you help, then help in small steps. Ponder’s hint ladder is one example of this “try first, then one hint” idea: every question has three hints that open one at a time, from a nudge about what matters, to a strategy, then a worked example of a similar problem, so the learner still does their own. After each answer, Ponder explains why it’s right, or what to look at again. Our guide on helping without giving the answer shows how to use the same ladder at the kitchen table, and questions to ask about maths has more prompts.
Low-pressure maths in daily life builds comfort for both of you: counting change, halving a recipe, guessing how long the drive will take, spotting shapes and patterns, keeping score in a game. No worksheets needed, and nobody has to be right first time.
Some worry about maths is normal. If anxiety is stopping your child from going to class, affecting their sleep or mood, or lasting for weeks, it’s time to talk to someone. Ponder can’t assess or treat anxiety, but these people can help:
If you are ever worried about your child’s immediate safety, call 000.
Try Ponder’s free “Where are they at?” check together: a few maths or English questions for your child’s year, with one hint at a time, then strengths and next steps in plain English. It takes 5 to 8 minutes and needs no account.
Ponder’s guides are general information for families, not professional advice. Sources were checked on 6 October 2026.
Research suggests it can have an effect. A Loughborough University study found parents’ maths anxiety was linked to their children’s early numeracy. Talking about maths positively, and as something learned through practice, is a simple place to start.
Acknowledge the feeling, then separate them from the task: “You’re not dumb. This question is tricky.” Add “not yet”, and praise a strategy they used, such as drawing a picture or checking their work.
You don’t need to know the answer. Ask what the question is asking, what they’ve tried and how they could check. Ask them to teach you their method. If you both get stuck, write a short note to the teacher.
Yes, as long as you add that it gets easier with practice. “I find fractions tricky, so I take it slowly” shows that adults keep learning too.
Praise works best when it is specific and about what they did: the strategy they chose, the way they checked, how they kept going. “You’re so smart” praises something they can’t control.
If worry about maths is affecting sleep, mood or going to school, or lasts for weeks, talk to the teacher, the school wellbeing team or your GP. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free and open any time.
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